Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
