were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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