Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We are all done wearing pants today
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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