why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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