how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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