i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
