TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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