so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
