I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize