the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
