Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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