Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize