i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
