Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
