the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
