People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
