just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
