He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
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