If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
