cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
