Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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