Your face is a jimmy john
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
