I hate your face
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
