I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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