paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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