The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
