I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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