I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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