Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we have officially lost it.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
