does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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