thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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