Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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