What did we do last night that was yellow?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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