I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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