The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
