I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
