I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
