"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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