I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.