dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you