Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
