Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's never too late to be topless.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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