just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
