I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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