He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
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He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
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I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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