Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
that's an acceptable place to lick
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
