She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
