Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
