I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
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Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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