You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize