I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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