he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
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