Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I skipped work to stalk him.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
