I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
