HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
