I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
