Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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