I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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