TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
