Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
