So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
