He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Send help, water and tortillas.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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