omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
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My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
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I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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