no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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