if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
