# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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