eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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