I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
