she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
