we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I deserve this hangover.
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