I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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