Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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